We often hear that growth happens outside our comfort zone. While there is truth in that, there is also a danger in believing that every uncomfortable thing is somehow good for us.
Sometimes, we commit to something with the very best intentions. We start a new fitness challenge, sign up for a course, join a club, or promise ourselves that we’ll stick with a new habit. Then reality arrives. The weather changes. Circumstances change. We change.
The question is not whether we should quit at the first sign of difficulty. Growth requires perseverance. However, there is a difference between pushing through discomfort and forcing ourselves into situations that no longer feel aligned with our goals.
Recently, Si and I started sea dipping at six o’clock in the morning. For eight days straight, we embraced the cold water, even when the sea temperature was below 11 degrees. I felt proud of myself, not because I was trying to prove anything, but because I had challenged myself and discovered I was capable of more than I thought.
Then came a morning when the rain was relentless. We had a twenty-minute walk to the beach ahead of us, followed by getting undressed in the pouring rain, climbing into cold water, getting even wetter, and then attempting to dry off before the long walk home.
Standing there, I realised something important. I didn’t have to do it. Not because I was weak. Not because I lacked discipline. Simply because, at this stage of my journey, it didn’t feel right.
What struck me most was that there was no fear behind my decision. Fear sounds like, “I can’t do this.” What I heard was, “I can do this, but I don’t need to do it today.” Those are very different things.
There is a quiet confidence that comes with reaching a point in life where you stop measuring every decision against what other people might consider “hardcore” or “disciplined” and start measuring it against what is actually right for you.
Eight days of sea dipping in cold water is already evidence of courage and commitment. I don’t need to keep collecting proof. In fact, one of the gifts of getting older is realising that wisdom often whispers where youthful ambition shouts.
Sometimes wisdom says, “Put your trainers on, enjoy the fresh air, have a lovely walk with someone you care about, and leave the sea for another day.”
And if I’m honest, there is something wonderfully British about standing in torrential rain, looking at a freezing sea, and deciding that common sense has earned a seat at the table.
The guilt will probably still pop up from time to time because conscientious people tend to hold themselves to very high standards. When it does, perhaps I’ll remind myself:
I didn’t quit… I adjusted.
I didn’t fail… I listened.
I didn’t avoid growth… I chose the kind of growth that I needed today.
That seems like a pretty healthy decision to me.
And for what it’s worth, I suspect there are many middle-aged women reading Inspire who would feel relieved to hear someone say that not every worthwhile journey has to involve suffering through a rainstorm before breakfast. ❤️
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